Friendship Care as Self Care: The Social Rituals We are Loving Right Now
For a long time, self-care was framed as something we did alone. A bath with candles, a skincare routine, a quiet evening with a journal. And while we’ll always love those rituals, lately we’ve been realizing something important: sometimes the deepest form of self-care is caring for our friendships.
We’re calling it friendship-care.
While solo self-care is restorative in its own way, friendship-care goes further. It reminds us that we’re not alone in this busy season of life. It softens the stress of daily demands. And it fills us up in ways that no face mask ever could.
Why Friendship Is the New Self-Care
We all know the loneliness epidemic is real. Even surrounded by people, it’s easy to feel isolated—especially in our thirties and forties, when schedules are maxed out with careers, kids, aging parents, and just the logistics of life. Friendships can feel like “extra credit,” something to tend to when there’s leftover time.
But the truth is, friendships are essential to wellness.
Science backs it up: our nervous systems co-regulate, meaning we actually feel calmer and more grounded when we’re around safe, trusted people. Connection literally heals. When we spend time with friends who see us and get us, it’s not indulgence—it’s medicine.
That’s why we’re reframing self-care to include friendship-care. Because nurturing our closest relationships is one of the most powerful things we can do for our health, our happiness, and our sanity.
Rethinking Socializing in This Season of Life
In our twenties, “being social” often meant late nights, crowded bars, and more cocktails than we’d like to admit. That version of socializing came with outfit stress, small talk with strangers, and the kind of next-day exhaustion that didn’t exactly feel restorative.
Now, in this stage of life, we’re craving something entirely different.
We want gatherings that feel like an exhale. Spaces where we can show up as ourselves, in cozy clothes, with people who already feel like home. Instead of draining us, these hangouts restore us. Instead of stressing us out, they calm our nervous systems.
It’s not about doing more—it’s about doing it differently. Friendship-care is socializing reimagined: slower, softer, intentional, and deeply nourishing.
Why Gathering With Friends Feels So Calming
There’s something almost instinctual about women gathering together. Science calls it co-regulation—when we spend time with trusted people, our nervous systems literally sync. Our heart rates, breathing, and stress responses can mirror one another, and being around safe, familiar friends actually helps us feel calmer and more grounded. This is one reason why small, intentional gatherings feel restorative rather than exhausting.
Hands-on activities amplify this effect. When our bodies are engaged in tactile, rhythmic movements—whether kneading dough, arranging flowers, or doing any sort of craft or practical project—the brain interprets this as a signal of safety. These movements activate the parasympathetic nervous system, the body’s “rest and digest” mode, helping reduce stress and promoting a sense of calm.
Even simple, low-stakes tasks done together—chopping vegetables, folding napkins, planting seeds, or sorting supplies—provide a subtle meditative rhythm. Paired with shared conversation and laughter, these moments naturally soothe the nervous system while strengthening connection, making friendship-care feel restorative on both a mental and physical level.
How We’re Practicing Friendship-Care
This season, we’re leaning into simple, creative ways to gather that don’t require perfection—or a late-night hangover. Here are some of the rituals lighting us up right now:
Potluck Magic
One of our favorite forms of friendship-care is the potluck. Everyone brings something—whether it’s a favorite dish, a recipe they’ve been wanting to try, or even just something fun to drink. The magic of a potluck is that the responsibility is shared. No one person has to carry the whole night (unless they truly want to, because sometimes hosting fills its own cup). Instead, the table becomes a patchwork of flavors, stories, and generosity.
Travel-Inspired Gatherings
Separate from our potlucks, we also love travel-inspired nights. Sometimes a friend will teach us something they learned abroad, like rolling spring rolls after a trip to Vietnam or baking focaccia after Italy. Other times, we’ll cook from a new cookbook someone brought home as a souvenir. These evenings feel like little cultural exchanges, where we not only share a meal but also learn a new skill together. It’s friendship-care that doubles as curiosity-care.
Seasonal Rituals
There’s something grounding about marking the seasons together. In the fall, we’ve decorated pumpkins with succulents. In late summer, we’ve harvested grapes from a friend’s backyard vineyard. These kinds of gatherings connect us to the natural rhythms of the year while also giving us a reason to gather for something tangible and fun.
Moving Together
Exercise is something that’s already on everyone’s to-do list, so why not do it as a group? While some of us meet for pilates once a week, those classes aren’t really social, and not everyone can make it. By planning a gathering centered around movement—like a hike, beach walk, or park stroll—we get to cross off two things at once: exercise and connection.
These shared moments give us the chance to laugh, chat, and “spill the tea” outside the group text, all while gently engaging our bodies and getting a little sweat in. Moving together like this supports the nervous system, balances energy, and makes friendship-care feel restorative on both a physical and emotional level.
Drinks That Include Everyone
One of the simplest ways we show care for each other is through what we pour into our glasses. Most of our gatherings include a bottle of wine (or two) for those who enjoy it, but we’ve also made it a priority to have something equally special for friends who are sober or simply being more intentional with their alcohol intake. Having thoughtful, non-alcoholic options on the table makes everyone feel included—and honestly, they’re so good, we often find ourselves reaching for them too.
Some current crowd favorites:
Societea Rose Blush Tea Wine — light, floral, and celebratory.
Little Saints St. Juniper — botanical, grounding, and chic.
Curious Elixirs — complex blends that feel like a treat without the alcohol.
It’s not about replacing wine or making things feel restrictive—it’s about creating an atmosphere where everyone can join in the ritual of raising a glass, in whatever way feels best for them.
How to Make Friendship-Care Doable
We know what you’re thinking: this all sounds wonderful, but who has the time?
The truth is, friendship-care doesn’t have to be complicated—or stressful. Here’s how we make it work in real life:
Start early in the day. Our book club wraps by noon so everyone can get on with their to-do list, making it easy to prioritize connection without derailing the day.
Embrace non-alcoholic options. Morning gatherings naturally curb drinking, and having thoughtful NA drinks on hand keeps everyone included—whether they’re sober, cutting back, or just enjoying a lighter option.
Let go of perfectionism. There is never any pressure to clean the house. We’ve all made a promise to each other: no judgment. Everyone’s mess is fair game, and it’s so freeing to just let it be.
Host however it works for you. Some friends volunteer to host because they know it’s the push they need for a deep clean or to tackle a patio project. Others prefer to show up with a dish or just themselves. The key is that everyone feels comfortable and supported.
When we release the pressure to make everything perfect, it’s easier to say yes—to hosting, to gathering, and to being together in a way that fills our cups instead of adding to the to-do list.
The Benefits We’re Noticing
Friendship-care doesn’t just feel good in the moment—it creates ripple effects. Here’s what we’ve noticed:
Calmer nervous systems. Being around people we trust helps us exhale, regulate, and feel safe.
More energy. These gatherings leave us restored, not depleted.
Creative sparks. Trying new foods, crafts, or activities keeps us inspired.
Stronger bonds. Friendships deepen when they’re tended to with care and regular rituals.
In a world that prizes productivity and output, these moments of shared presence remind us that connection is productive too.
Reframing Self-Care as “We-Care”
Maybe the word “self-care” has outgrown itself. Because what we’re really learning is that care multiplies when it’s shared. When we gather with our people in ways that are grounding and joyful, everyone leaves a little more filled up.
So this season, we’re redefining wellness. It’s not just face masks and bubble baths. It’s also potlucks, travel-inspired cooking nights, succulent pumpkins, and long beach walks. It’s showing up for our friendships and letting them show up for us.
It’s friendship-care—and it’s the kind of self-care we’re loving most right now.
FAQ
What is friendship-care?
Friendship-care is the practice of treating your friendships as a form of self-care—nurturing them with intentional time, rituals, and connection that leave everyone feeling restored.
How can socializing be self-care?
When it’s done intentionally, socializing can calm the nervous system, reduce loneliness, spark creativity, and strengthen bonds—all essential for wellness.
How do I prioritize friendships when life is busy?
Keep it simple: start with small, casual hangs, invite friends into your existing routines (like a morning book club or a walk), and release the idea that it has to be perfect to count.
What are some easy friendship-care ideas?
Potlucks, travel-inspired meals, seasonal crafts, book clubs, hikes, tea circles, or simply inviting a friend over to share a new NA drink.
Final Thought:
Friendships are essential to wellness. By reframing self-care as friendship-care, we’re finding new ways to connect that support our nervous systems, our creativity, and our joy.